Last night I woke up to the most ferocious thunder storm. At about 2AM it sounded like someone hit our metal roof like the grand finale of a drum solo and our roof was a cymbal. The whole house would rumble and the noise was so loud that I would just automatically jump into the fetal position- involuntarily. Furthermore, the bugs didnt want to be in the rain so they all came into the room. There were bugs EVERYWHERE. The lightning would fade away to just a normal thunderstorm and then BOOM!!! another would strike within feet of the house. My fear was that a tree would come crashing through the house after being struck. I jumped into Zuhayers bed and we sat there like 2 tiny children - so afraid of what we didnt know what was going to happen. It was unreal. Car alarms were going off, and it was SO LOUD. I just started laughing, because i always laugh when im nervous, and i could only think....wow- is this how i go?
I was caught in a lightning storm before, with my ole pal Andrew- on top of Snowking in Jackson- and i thought that i was going to die then, but somehow last night- even though i was in a house made of stone- it just seemed more intense, and more dangerous. More terrifying. Im so glad I was not in a tent last night!!!
Tomorrow I will go back to santa teresa to join some good ole friends- Janerae and Antonio specifically, to go enjoy another day on the beach. Today is the first day that I dont really feel like jumping in the ocean, I just want to stay on dry land for a day, maybe play some cards- keep reading my book and writing in my journal.
My birthday is tomorrow- and I always have to reflect on the previous year of my life. On my last birthday I went to String Lake with a few close friends to float on tubes and eat cake- and I remember being more than satisfied with the fact that it was just my close friends. And tim's birthday card that played "superfreak" when opened.
I miss Jackson, a lot, I miss my life there. I miss riding bikes in the summertime, I miss the tuesday night parties at Brian Hady's house, I miss having those days off where you look up and you are surrounded by all of your friends. I miss the campfires at night in Wilson- and waking up hungover and the first thought to run through my head "Noras biscuits and gravy". Jackson is an amazing town- but I wasnt ready to settle. So i moved on...reluctantly.
During my 24th year- I worked as an exec assistant (AKA SECRETARY FOR THE DEVIL), barista, had 3 different waitress jobs, worked as a nanny, in retail, and I worked my ass off as a girlfriend for a very special guy. I went to the Wind River Range and I caught a beautiful brown trout in yellowstone. I went and picked mushrooms with Fred, Susan and Sarah when things were going tough for me- always good to take a break to Moran. I finally figured out riding in powder, and i went backcountry skiing - with the right equipment- for the first time.
Then everything changed- in february. Post breakup- I went back to Houston, which was something I really didnt want to do- but I had to get back to my roots. Sometimes a texas girl just has to get back home for a while. In houston i was pleasantly suprised by how much trouble i could get myself into. I was constantly distracting myself with 2 jobs, 3 boys, TONS of great friends and hurricanes. The best thing about going back to houston was just falling back in line with my dearest of friends. Ive met the most wonderful people all over the world- but theres something about the people that have known you for 15 years or even 24. Needless to say- my lifestlye choices in houston were unhealthy- but as far as i can tell, theres no right way to get over the devastation of watching a four year relationship disintegrate right before your eyes.
Ive done a lot and learned a lot in 24 years, and Im really interested to see what my 25th year will bring me. It seems as though with each year, my life becomes equally shittier and more amazing- it just happens in cycles. Its like how my folks always said "Nina, with more freedom comes more responsibility". Same concept- but its more like "happiness is directly correlated to devastation levels in your life" correlation is not causation... blah blah blah.
Today, I will reflect. Its a yoga on the beach kind of day, no doubt about it. I'm finally having extended conversations in spanish, and last night i watched an entire episode of the most amazing costa rican tv show ever "DECISIONES" and i understood every word. Its easier for me to think of certain words in spanish than it is in english - and i cant wait to dream again in spanish. Its happened before- and i know it will happen again soon.
Pura Vida
Pura Birra
Puraweeda
Happy Birthday to me.
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