ROAAAAAR - sorry, that was my inner leo saying "whaaatt upppp its all about me today". No seriously, today is going to be another wonderful day. The big 25, so far, so good. Zuma and I (yes, i renamed him zuma- and i also gave him his acting name- Zuma Davis) woke up to Eliana yelling "gallo pinto!! gallo pinto! wake up you lazy people!". I immediately smiled and got up. I didnt even try to snooze.
Eliana, Christian and Caleb- the family that we are staying with, are all such wonderful people. Eliana and Christian have helped me improve my spanish so much and every night we all hang out as a family. And their cat, Magic, eats a ton of bugs. I love the ticos- they are so kind, if you stop and get to know them- you will be amazed by their kindness. When you ask for directions, most of the time a tico will just stop what they are doing and walk the 3 blocks with you to wherever you need to go. So different from the USA- or any metropolitan area for that matter. Eliana made us a huge breakfast, and we all sat and ate and laughed and talked- i realized that what i like best about montezuma is that i have been living in a HOME. In hostels- you can party, do whatever you want- scream into the night, no one cares. In la casa de Ramon- ( i think thats what its called) theres a routine, Caleb gets up for school around 6am. Christian and Elena spend all day working around the house, which is a lot of work- its a HUGE house. It makes me realize that one day I want a home and a routine- but for now, i will just have to spend time with people who will take me in and allow me to be part of their life.
Today, I go back to Santa Teresa. Tomorrow- I will go to Bocas Del Toro- in Panama. Its the surfers world cup in Jaco, which is only an hour away- but today, its all about seeing my ole pals. Its funny how the people you meet a week ago become the friends you feel like you know the best out here.
I had a huge smile on my face when I checked facebook today- so many friends that i miss. So, this song is for yall.
"So, so you think you can tell,
heaven from hell,
blue skies from pain,
can you tell a green field
from a cold steel rail?
a smile from a veil?
do you think you can tell??????
and did they get you to trade your heroes from ghosts?
hot ashes from trees?
hot air for a cool breeze?
cold comfort for change?
and did you exchange
a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
how i wish, how i wish you were here,
we're just 2 lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
running over the same old ground
what have we found?
the same old fears...
Wish you were here"
-PINK FLOYD
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Ode to 24
Last night I woke up to the most ferocious thunder storm. At about 2AM it sounded like someone hit our metal roof like the grand finale of a drum solo and our roof was a cymbal. The whole house would rumble and the noise was so loud that I would just automatically jump into the fetal position- involuntarily. Furthermore, the bugs didnt want to be in the rain so they all came into the room. There were bugs EVERYWHERE. The lightning would fade away to just a normal thunderstorm and then BOOM!!! another would strike within feet of the house. My fear was that a tree would come crashing through the house after being struck. I jumped into Zuhayers bed and we sat there like 2 tiny children - so afraid of what we didnt know what was going to happen. It was unreal. Car alarms were going off, and it was SO LOUD. I just started laughing, because i always laugh when im nervous, and i could only think....wow- is this how i go?
I was caught in a lightning storm before, with my ole pal Andrew- on top of Snowking in Jackson- and i thought that i was going to die then, but somehow last night- even though i was in a house made of stone- it just seemed more intense, and more dangerous. More terrifying. Im so glad I was not in a tent last night!!!
Tomorrow I will go back to santa teresa to join some good ole friends- Janerae and Antonio specifically, to go enjoy another day on the beach. Today is the first day that I dont really feel like jumping in the ocean, I just want to stay on dry land for a day, maybe play some cards- keep reading my book and writing in my journal.
My birthday is tomorrow- and I always have to reflect on the previous year of my life. On my last birthday I went to String Lake with a few close friends to float on tubes and eat cake- and I remember being more than satisfied with the fact that it was just my close friends. And tim's birthday card that played "superfreak" when opened.
I miss Jackson, a lot, I miss my life there. I miss riding bikes in the summertime, I miss the tuesday night parties at Brian Hady's house, I miss having those days off where you look up and you are surrounded by all of your friends. I miss the campfires at night in Wilson- and waking up hungover and the first thought to run through my head "Noras biscuits and gravy". Jackson is an amazing town- but I wasnt ready to settle. So i moved on...reluctantly.
During my 24th year- I worked as an exec assistant (AKA SECRETARY FOR THE DEVIL), barista, had 3 different waitress jobs, worked as a nanny, in retail, and I worked my ass off as a girlfriend for a very special guy. I went to the Wind River Range and I caught a beautiful brown trout in yellowstone. I went and picked mushrooms with Fred, Susan and Sarah when things were going tough for me- always good to take a break to Moran. I finally figured out riding in powder, and i went backcountry skiing - with the right equipment- for the first time.
Then everything changed- in february. Post breakup- I went back to Houston, which was something I really didnt want to do- but I had to get back to my roots. Sometimes a texas girl just has to get back home for a while. In houston i was pleasantly suprised by how much trouble i could get myself into. I was constantly distracting myself with 2 jobs, 3 boys, TONS of great friends and hurricanes. The best thing about going back to houston was just falling back in line with my dearest of friends. Ive met the most wonderful people all over the world- but theres something about the people that have known you for 15 years or even 24. Needless to say- my lifestlye choices in houston were unhealthy- but as far as i can tell, theres no right way to get over the devastation of watching a four year relationship disintegrate right before your eyes.
Ive done a lot and learned a lot in 24 years, and Im really interested to see what my 25th year will bring me. It seems as though with each year, my life becomes equally shittier and more amazing- it just happens in cycles. Its like how my folks always said "Nina, with more freedom comes more responsibility". Same concept- but its more like "happiness is directly correlated to devastation levels in your life" correlation is not causation... blah blah blah.
Today, I will reflect. Its a yoga on the beach kind of day, no doubt about it. I'm finally having extended conversations in spanish, and last night i watched an entire episode of the most amazing costa rican tv show ever "DECISIONES" and i understood every word. Its easier for me to think of certain words in spanish than it is in english - and i cant wait to dream again in spanish. Its happened before- and i know it will happen again soon.
Pura Vida
Pura Birra
Puraweeda
Happy Birthday to me.
I was caught in a lightning storm before, with my ole pal Andrew- on top of Snowking in Jackson- and i thought that i was going to die then, but somehow last night- even though i was in a house made of stone- it just seemed more intense, and more dangerous. More terrifying. Im so glad I was not in a tent last night!!!
Tomorrow I will go back to santa teresa to join some good ole friends- Janerae and Antonio specifically, to go enjoy another day on the beach. Today is the first day that I dont really feel like jumping in the ocean, I just want to stay on dry land for a day, maybe play some cards- keep reading my book and writing in my journal.
My birthday is tomorrow- and I always have to reflect on the previous year of my life. On my last birthday I went to String Lake with a few close friends to float on tubes and eat cake- and I remember being more than satisfied with the fact that it was just my close friends. And tim's birthday card that played "superfreak" when opened.
I miss Jackson, a lot, I miss my life there. I miss riding bikes in the summertime, I miss the tuesday night parties at Brian Hady's house, I miss having those days off where you look up and you are surrounded by all of your friends. I miss the campfires at night in Wilson- and waking up hungover and the first thought to run through my head "Noras biscuits and gravy". Jackson is an amazing town- but I wasnt ready to settle. So i moved on...reluctantly.
During my 24th year- I worked as an exec assistant (AKA SECRETARY FOR THE DEVIL), barista, had 3 different waitress jobs, worked as a nanny, in retail, and I worked my ass off as a girlfriend for a very special guy. I went to the Wind River Range and I caught a beautiful brown trout in yellowstone. I went and picked mushrooms with Fred, Susan and Sarah when things were going tough for me- always good to take a break to Moran. I finally figured out riding in powder, and i went backcountry skiing - with the right equipment- for the first time.
Then everything changed- in february. Post breakup- I went back to Houston, which was something I really didnt want to do- but I had to get back to my roots. Sometimes a texas girl just has to get back home for a while. In houston i was pleasantly suprised by how much trouble i could get myself into. I was constantly distracting myself with 2 jobs, 3 boys, TONS of great friends and hurricanes. The best thing about going back to houston was just falling back in line with my dearest of friends. Ive met the most wonderful people all over the world- but theres something about the people that have known you for 15 years or even 24. Needless to say- my lifestlye choices in houston were unhealthy- but as far as i can tell, theres no right way to get over the devastation of watching a four year relationship disintegrate right before your eyes.
Ive done a lot and learned a lot in 24 years, and Im really interested to see what my 25th year will bring me. It seems as though with each year, my life becomes equally shittier and more amazing- it just happens in cycles. Its like how my folks always said "Nina, with more freedom comes more responsibility". Same concept- but its more like "happiness is directly correlated to devastation levels in your life" correlation is not causation... blah blah blah.
Today, I will reflect. Its a yoga on the beach kind of day, no doubt about it. I'm finally having extended conversations in spanish, and last night i watched an entire episode of the most amazing costa rican tv show ever "DECISIONES" and i understood every word. Its easier for me to think of certain words in spanish than it is in english - and i cant wait to dream again in spanish. Its happened before- and i know it will happen again soon.
Pura Vida
Pura Birra
Puraweeda
Happy Birthday to me.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Barter System
Today was picture perfect. White sand beaches, tiny islands as far as the eye can see, clear blue waters and snorkeling. We left for Isla Tortuga this morning, a bit hazy still from the rum we drank last night- and set off on a boat for snorkeling. Costa rica has its own rules regarding time, so i got to take a half hour nap before we took off. We saw all sorts of fishies, and then went to a beautiful white sand beach for lunch. One of our guides made a beautiful fruit tray with fresh pineapples, sandias, bananas and orananges- and even put beautiful yellow flowers as a garnish for the fruits. We ate barbecued fish and potatoes- and had ice cold imperials.
There was a beautiful parrot - it was red, blue and yellow- that chilled by the local gift shop. Then we chilled with our guides and had rum and coke by the beach. I swam for a while and then we took a kayak the next cove. We found so many shells - my favorite was a GIANT oyster shell the size of my hand. Zuhayer and I brought back the kayak just in time and did yoga on the beach for a few minutes. I then continued to swim around until the guides told us that we needed to leave. We got to jump in the ocean and swim around halfway between Isla Tortuga and Montezuma. Then we chilled by the beach in montezuma and i promised our guides that i would return one day- our captain is known for catching giant sailfish and he promised me a discount for my birthday.
We are thinking about heading to Samara tomorrow or at least to playa hermosa. We never did see those waterfalls- but ive decided that i really like Montezuma- at least when its not the weekend. Less spring breakers.
I love the barter system here. Cant go into details- but its very similar to jackson hole. Bring a little rum to the beach, share with the locals, and very good things come your way. :)
There was a beautiful parrot - it was red, blue and yellow- that chilled by the local gift shop. Then we chilled with our guides and had rum and coke by the beach. I swam for a while and then we took a kayak the next cove. We found so many shells - my favorite was a GIANT oyster shell the size of my hand. Zuhayer and I brought back the kayak just in time and did yoga on the beach for a few minutes. I then continued to swim around until the guides told us that we needed to leave. We got to jump in the ocean and swim around halfway between Isla Tortuga and Montezuma. Then we chilled by the beach in montezuma and i promised our guides that i would return one day- our captain is known for catching giant sailfish and he promised me a discount for my birthday.
We are thinking about heading to Samara tomorrow or at least to playa hermosa. We never did see those waterfalls- but ive decided that i really like Montezuma- at least when its not the weekend. Less spring breakers.
I love the barter system here. Cant go into details- but its very similar to jackson hole. Bring a little rum to the beach, share with the locals, and very good things come your way. :)
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Montezuma
I ran into Max at a bus stop in Paquera yesterday. I saw maestra- his dog, from his facebook pics and looked up to see a giant floppy blonde head of hair getting out of a car. I love the way the world works. Im probably going back to Santa Teresa for my birthday- Max was leaving to go stay in the same hostel I had just left. Oh well, onward and upward.
Zuhayer and I are staying at a house for 10 dollars a night. Its amazing. We are on the second floor of a giant house and we have a huge balcony and 3 beds. Its unreal what you can find in CR for $10 per night. We are staying with a family, Christian Aliana and their son Caleb. Caleb is 10 years old and works in the yard with his dad during the day- unless he sees a soccer ball and then he immediatly runs off to play. Christian came out with Zuhayr and myself to Coco Loco- the only bar in town that's open on a saturday night. It was a completely different vibe from Santa Teresa- spring breakers everywhere. Techno music.... ugh. But it IS beautiful here and for the first time in a while - i was able to spend the entire day today by myself.
Its exhausting meeting new people day after day, and then leaving the amazing connections that you make. Im always sad to leave my friends- the germans (chris and elena) were unable to make it to Montezuma because they are trying to get a new Visa to China- they are hoping to make it to Tibet. Nadia-from Amsterdam- couldnt make it either. But i promised to come visit her one day. I mean come on, its AMSTERDAM.
Its easy for me to meet people- Zuhayer and I have a daily contest to see who can pick up more people. We are about even. Except Zuhayer can only usually pick up chicks and it takes minimal effort for me to meet a guy. Or several.
Today felt like the first day that I just sat on my ass and didnt talk to anyone- just enjoyed the amazing view.
Weed and cocaine are very easy to encounter in Montezuma. Its a hippy town with a rasta vibe- but there are a lot of colombians that frequent the area. Zuhayer and I are going to go check out a couple of waterfalls nearby. I contemplated going snorkeling- but $35 was a little out of my price range. I got home from the bars last night and ate a can of sweet corn- times are tough. Zuhayer ate the entire inside of our loaf of bread. Jerk. :)
That is all.
Zuhayer and I are staying at a house for 10 dollars a night. Its amazing. We are on the second floor of a giant house and we have a huge balcony and 3 beds. Its unreal what you can find in CR for $10 per night. We are staying with a family, Christian Aliana and their son Caleb. Caleb is 10 years old and works in the yard with his dad during the day- unless he sees a soccer ball and then he immediatly runs off to play. Christian came out with Zuhayr and myself to Coco Loco- the only bar in town that's open on a saturday night. It was a completely different vibe from Santa Teresa- spring breakers everywhere. Techno music.... ugh. But it IS beautiful here and for the first time in a while - i was able to spend the entire day today by myself.
Its exhausting meeting new people day after day, and then leaving the amazing connections that you make. Im always sad to leave my friends- the germans (chris and elena) were unable to make it to Montezuma because they are trying to get a new Visa to China- they are hoping to make it to Tibet. Nadia-from Amsterdam- couldnt make it either. But i promised to come visit her one day. I mean come on, its AMSTERDAM.
Its easy for me to meet people- Zuhayer and I have a daily contest to see who can pick up more people. We are about even. Except Zuhayer can only usually pick up chicks and it takes minimal effort for me to meet a guy. Or several.
Today felt like the first day that I just sat on my ass and didnt talk to anyone- just enjoyed the amazing view.
Weed and cocaine are very easy to encounter in Montezuma. Its a hippy town with a rasta vibe- but there are a lot of colombians that frequent the area. Zuhayer and I are going to go check out a couple of waterfalls nearby. I contemplated going snorkeling- but $35 was a little out of my price range. I got home from the bars last night and ate a can of sweet corn- times are tough. Zuhayer ate the entire inside of our loaf of bread. Jerk. :)
That is all.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Pizza Pies
Last night Janerae and I made 6 pizzas from scratch with the help of some friends. We cooked them on a grill with coals from a fire. We fed 10 people on 12,000 colones. Which is about twenty US dollars.
Zuhayr and i have decided that its time to move on from Santa Teresa-cant get too comfortable... so we are going to go camp on the beach in Montezuma. Apparently in Montezuma everyone says- Montefuma, Coca Rica, Pura Vida. Hah.
My birthday is in 6 days!! Im considering coming back to Brunelas - Santa Teresa is a laid back surfer town, and its a trek to get here- so it remains isolated from the constant flow of tourists I wonder how long it will stay like this...
Zuhayr and i have decided that its time to move on from Santa Teresa-cant get too comfortable... so we are going to go camp on the beach in Montezuma. Apparently in Montezuma everyone says- Montefuma, Coca Rica, Pura Vida. Hah.
My birthday is in 6 days!! Im considering coming back to Brunelas - Santa Teresa is a laid back surfer town, and its a trek to get here- so it remains isolated from the constant flow of tourists I wonder how long it will stay like this...
Friday, July 24, 2009
MAL PAIS
The iguanas here are like squirrels. They are everywhere. The surf is up by 4 meters today and all the surfers are just sitting on the beach watching. Occasionally someone will grab their board and paddle out, but they eventually have to give up. Its awesome.
Our hostel, brunelas, is the a huge open house with 4 beds to a room, nine dollars per night for a bed. Its a neon green and yellow building with graffiti all over it and it has 2 kitchens and a huge yard. this place even has a surfboard that you can use for free. there are about 10 iguanas that just run around like house cats. last night we cooked yellowfin tuna and black tuna and about 15 of us had a feast. then we started drinking rum and playing poker. 7 of us, myself and 6 guys. i ended up splitting the pot with one other guy. the boys underestimated me, and i enjoyed taking their money. then we went out to reggae night at the bar and drank more rum and danced the night away. we finished off the night by sitting on the beach and watching the stars.
today we cruised around on the beach- its like something out of a picture. its surreal. the coastline is gorgeous and the waves are HUGE!!! everyones playing soccer or watching the surf.
im pretty sure ill be going to montezuma tomorrow. hoping to meet up with the german couple- chris and elena.
zuhayr, janerae, antonio and myself have been having a blast. 4 solo travelers that became a family.
TRAVEL SOLO! its the only way to fly.
Our hostel, brunelas, is the a huge open house with 4 beds to a room, nine dollars per night for a bed. Its a neon green and yellow building with graffiti all over it and it has 2 kitchens and a huge yard. this place even has a surfboard that you can use for free. there are about 10 iguanas that just run around like house cats. last night we cooked yellowfin tuna and black tuna and about 15 of us had a feast. then we started drinking rum and playing poker. 7 of us, myself and 6 guys. i ended up splitting the pot with one other guy. the boys underestimated me, and i enjoyed taking their money. then we went out to reggae night at the bar and drank more rum and danced the night away. we finished off the night by sitting on the beach and watching the stars.
today we cruised around on the beach- its like something out of a picture. its surreal. the coastline is gorgeous and the waves are HUGE!!! everyones playing soccer or watching the surf.
im pretty sure ill be going to montezuma tomorrow. hoping to meet up with the german couple- chris and elena.
zuhayr, janerae, antonio and myself have been having a blast. 4 solo travelers that became a family.
TRAVEL SOLO! its the only way to fly.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
AMAZING
Hello Everyone!
Life is so good. Im in Santa Teresa on the pacific coast. Costa Rica is unbelievable. My first day started off with a 7 hour wait for a bus to Monteverde. I could have cruised around San Jose for a few hours but I got the feeling that there wasnt too much to see and it didnt seem very safe- so i stayed and read. I met two awesome girls - Morena from Switzerland and Kim from Canada- and without their help i would have missed the bus-which decided to leave 20 minutes early. Time doesnt really matter here- the bus drivers leave when they feel like it- so you always have to be prepared. I took a catnap on the bus and woke up to lush green jungles and winding roads - super sketchy bus ride. Theres no guard rail and you look down and there is about 6 inches between the bus and a cliff. OUT OF CONTROL.
On the bus i ran into Pete Segner- a guy i went to middle school with - who was traveling with a guy named Julian. The five of us went out and had a huge dinner at the treehouse- a restaurant with a tree in the middle of the building- and drank imperials and listened to live music. The weather was cold, windy and rainy. I slept like a champ. Right before i went to sleep i met Zuhayr- who has been my traveling companion ever since. I feel like ive known him 10 years- and I consider him to be my brother. Hes hilarious- and we have laughed more over the last 4 days than i have in years.
Our first day we did the zipline canopy tour- which was the most amazing thing ive ever done in my life. 12 zip lines, rapel, tarzan swing and the superman zipline. The superman zipline was 3 minutes long- 300 feet in the air over a canopy of trees. You fly like superman and its the most incredible feeling in the world. I was freaked out but smiling. It was insane. Then we went on a night tour and saw sloths, a neon green viper, some bugs, and other random mammals and birds.
Zuhayr and i met up with a girl named Brittany and the three of us were like the three amigos - we danced and laughed and drank the night away. So much fun.
The next day Zuhayr and I left for La Fortuna to see the volcano. It was cloudy most of the time - but we managed to find our way to the hot springs nearby. Zuhayr and i met up with some germans- Chris and Elena- and the four of us had a blast together. Baldi- the name of the hot spring place- had like 20 pools and waterslides and wet bars and set the precedent for debauchery. One of the waterslides- i didnt realize this at the time- lets you go 45 km per hour- i dont think ill do that one again. In costa rica- people prettym uch let you do whatever you want. Which is nice.
My spanish is amazing- the germans were robbed in san ramon and i had to talk to the police for them. Its amazing how quickly my spanish has improved and im loving it.
Currently in Mal Pais/Santa Teresa- about to learn how to surf. Lots more to tell you-but i just dont have time right now. Off with zuhayr and our other friends- antonio and jane ray- to go attempt to surf.
There are monkeys in all of the trees here- and the vibe is incredible.
Chao
Life is so good. Im in Santa Teresa on the pacific coast. Costa Rica is unbelievable. My first day started off with a 7 hour wait for a bus to Monteverde. I could have cruised around San Jose for a few hours but I got the feeling that there wasnt too much to see and it didnt seem very safe- so i stayed and read. I met two awesome girls - Morena from Switzerland and Kim from Canada- and without their help i would have missed the bus-which decided to leave 20 minutes early. Time doesnt really matter here- the bus drivers leave when they feel like it- so you always have to be prepared. I took a catnap on the bus and woke up to lush green jungles and winding roads - super sketchy bus ride. Theres no guard rail and you look down and there is about 6 inches between the bus and a cliff. OUT OF CONTROL.
On the bus i ran into Pete Segner- a guy i went to middle school with - who was traveling with a guy named Julian. The five of us went out and had a huge dinner at the treehouse- a restaurant with a tree in the middle of the building- and drank imperials and listened to live music. The weather was cold, windy and rainy. I slept like a champ. Right before i went to sleep i met Zuhayr- who has been my traveling companion ever since. I feel like ive known him 10 years- and I consider him to be my brother. Hes hilarious- and we have laughed more over the last 4 days than i have in years.
Our first day we did the zipline canopy tour- which was the most amazing thing ive ever done in my life. 12 zip lines, rapel, tarzan swing and the superman zipline. The superman zipline was 3 minutes long- 300 feet in the air over a canopy of trees. You fly like superman and its the most incredible feeling in the world. I was freaked out but smiling. It was insane. Then we went on a night tour and saw sloths, a neon green viper, some bugs, and other random mammals and birds.
Zuhayr and i met up with a girl named Brittany and the three of us were like the three amigos - we danced and laughed and drank the night away. So much fun.
The next day Zuhayr and I left for La Fortuna to see the volcano. It was cloudy most of the time - but we managed to find our way to the hot springs nearby. Zuhayr and i met up with some germans- Chris and Elena- and the four of us had a blast together. Baldi- the name of the hot spring place- had like 20 pools and waterslides and wet bars and set the precedent for debauchery. One of the waterslides- i didnt realize this at the time- lets you go 45 km per hour- i dont think ill do that one again. In costa rica- people prettym uch let you do whatever you want. Which is nice.
My spanish is amazing- the germans were robbed in san ramon and i had to talk to the police for them. Its amazing how quickly my spanish has improved and im loving it.
Currently in Mal Pais/Santa Teresa- about to learn how to surf. Lots more to tell you-but i just dont have time right now. Off with zuhayr and our other friends- antonio and jane ray- to go attempt to surf.
There are monkeys in all of the trees here- and the vibe is incredible.
Chao
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Things Are FINALLY Falling Into Place
Things are finally falling into place….
Ive been nervous. All has not been well with a lot of the people that I care about. There are a few key people in my life that have been struggling. I have been struggling. I have been trying to make it all happen- and its been killing me. One of my closest friends has been a mess- and its been tough to see this amazing individual lose her strength. Its really tough for me to see my friends struggle – but its been prevalent throughout the last few months. THAT’S LIFE.
Yet in the last few days- one of my friends got some action on her birthday, another is smiling for the first time in months following a shattered heart- and someone else very close to me just found something REAL. That’s all I can say regarding specifics.
Houston has been interesting- ive met some really amazing friends. I was terrified of leaving Jackson but its been a wild ride down in h-town. I have enjoyed being SINGLE- even though im never alone. Im far too ADD for that. Im ready to shut off my phone and LET GO of it. I mean the feeling when you are alone waiting for someone and you just grab your phone to distract yourself- NO MORE- its time for me to just take in my surroundings and enjoy every minute of it. Im going to substitute my phone with a journal and write down everything that’s worth writing. Ill probably do a fair amount of doodling as well…
Im selling my car on WEDNESDAY~ “the fo” if you will. I love my car more than I like most people. Weve been through shit together- and at some points in my life it was my ONLY sanctuary. Im going to miss the FO but its time to let go of a few things in my life. There are so many things that I cant control. There is a lot of turmoil in certain relationships in my life- and I hate it. I just avoid it.
Ive spent my time with my favorites- Louise is a perfect example. Just people who love me for who I am and what im about to do and for what ive been doing all along- LIVING.
The thing about life is that it goes by so quickly. I don’t want to get married at 25 and pop out kids by the time im 27. It sounds miserable. I know that there are a lot of happy people that have amazing lives- but SOME parents of 9 year olds are totally over it. They are just looking for ANYTHING to distract them from the routine. Im sure that im pissing someone off right now – but whatevs its just my perspective.
I hate the idea of falling OUT of love- I never want that to happen to me… again. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Im far too proud to let someone do that to me again. It’s the inner Leo in me. ROAR.
ANYWAY – back to the bright side of life.
I have been having so much fun with Caroline. We have laughed more in the last 3 days than I have in my entire time in Houston. I have LOVED living on Driscoll. Amazing neighbors- an awesome house – and it just feels like home. I am officially obsessed with watching the Bachelorette- which is so lame- but hey im in Houston- what the EF else am I going to do? Louise has been my heart and soul- I will always be fond of Houston specifically because its is where Louise will always call home.
I love SWIMMING all the time- while its nothing like running up the snake river (with B & A – back in the day) and running upstream and floating downstream while the dogs go nuts- jumping off a diving board is SO MUCH FUN. Especially when my top DOESN’T fall off. Extra bonus!!! (sparkley wiggles!!)
Anyway – the whole rant here is that I’m happy. I’m excited. I’m SO READY to embark on this amazing journey. Apparently im off to find Mad Max.
The most important part for me though is not having to stress about my 3 being happy again. Tier 1- you are so wonderful- keep doing what your doing. Inspirational Wondergirl – I hope that I can always be there for you- even though I am going to be far away- and thank you. And for the third- ive already said what I needed to say- the message has always been the same- im crazy about you- I always have been and I always will be.
Today has been the most amazing day.
HAPPY MOMES.
PS- I get to see harry potter tomorrow with CEH, Louise and Annalcia – JEALOUS????
Ive been nervous. All has not been well with a lot of the people that I care about. There are a few key people in my life that have been struggling. I have been struggling. I have been trying to make it all happen- and its been killing me. One of my closest friends has been a mess- and its been tough to see this amazing individual lose her strength. Its really tough for me to see my friends struggle – but its been prevalent throughout the last few months. THAT’S LIFE.
Yet in the last few days- one of my friends got some action on her birthday, another is smiling for the first time in months following a shattered heart- and someone else very close to me just found something REAL. That’s all I can say regarding specifics.
Houston has been interesting- ive met some really amazing friends. I was terrified of leaving Jackson but its been a wild ride down in h-town. I have enjoyed being SINGLE- even though im never alone. Im far too ADD for that. Im ready to shut off my phone and LET GO of it. I mean the feeling when you are alone waiting for someone and you just grab your phone to distract yourself- NO MORE- its time for me to just take in my surroundings and enjoy every minute of it. Im going to substitute my phone with a journal and write down everything that’s worth writing. Ill probably do a fair amount of doodling as well…
Im selling my car on WEDNESDAY~ “the fo” if you will. I love my car more than I like most people. Weve been through shit together- and at some points in my life it was my ONLY sanctuary. Im going to miss the FO but its time to let go of a few things in my life. There are so many things that I cant control. There is a lot of turmoil in certain relationships in my life- and I hate it. I just avoid it.
Ive spent my time with my favorites- Louise is a perfect example. Just people who love me for who I am and what im about to do and for what ive been doing all along- LIVING.
The thing about life is that it goes by so quickly. I don’t want to get married at 25 and pop out kids by the time im 27. It sounds miserable. I know that there are a lot of happy people that have amazing lives- but SOME parents of 9 year olds are totally over it. They are just looking for ANYTHING to distract them from the routine. Im sure that im pissing someone off right now – but whatevs its just my perspective.
I hate the idea of falling OUT of love- I never want that to happen to me… again. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Im far too proud to let someone do that to me again. It’s the inner Leo in me. ROAR.
ANYWAY – back to the bright side of life.
I have been having so much fun with Caroline. We have laughed more in the last 3 days than I have in my entire time in Houston. I have LOVED living on Driscoll. Amazing neighbors- an awesome house – and it just feels like home. I am officially obsessed with watching the Bachelorette- which is so lame- but hey im in Houston- what the EF else am I going to do? Louise has been my heart and soul- I will always be fond of Houston specifically because its is where Louise will always call home.
I love SWIMMING all the time- while its nothing like running up the snake river (with B & A – back in the day) and running upstream and floating downstream while the dogs go nuts- jumping off a diving board is SO MUCH FUN. Especially when my top DOESN’T fall off. Extra bonus!!! (sparkley wiggles!!)
Anyway – the whole rant here is that I’m happy. I’m excited. I’m SO READY to embark on this amazing journey. Apparently im off to find Mad Max.
The most important part for me though is not having to stress about my 3 being happy again. Tier 1- you are so wonderful- keep doing what your doing. Inspirational Wondergirl – I hope that I can always be there for you- even though I am going to be far away- and thank you. And for the third- ive already said what I needed to say- the message has always been the same- im crazy about you- I always have been and I always will be.
Today has been the most amazing day.
HAPPY MOMES.
PS- I get to see harry potter tomorrow with CEH, Louise and Annalcia – JEALOUS????
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
FOR MORIAH...i love youuuuuu
You say, I only hear what I want to
You say, I talk so all the time, so
And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leavin'
Now I know that I did somethin' wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah... I missed you
And you say,
I only hear what I want to
I don't listen hard
Don't pay attention to the distance that you're runnin'
To anyone, anywhere,
I Don't understand if you really careI'm only hearing negative
No, no, no (bad)
So I,
I turn the radio on,
I turn the radio up
And this woman was singin' my song
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover while we're waiting for the other who was
Dyin' since the day they were born, well
Well, this is not that, think that I'm throwin'
But I'm thrown
And I thought I'd live forever
But now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
That won't take me anyhow, or anywhere
With you
You said that I was naive,
and (naive...)I thought that I was strong,
ohI thought, 'hey, I can leave, I can leave', oh (leave...)
But now I know that I was wrong,
'cause I missed youYeah...
I miss youYou said, "You caught me 'cause you want me"
And one day you let me go
You try to keep away a keeper
Or keep me 'cause you know you're just so
Scared to lose
And you say, "stay"
You say, I only hear what I want to
You say, I only hear what I want to
You say, I talk so all the time, so
And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leavin'
Now I know that I did somethin' wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah... I missed you
And you say,
I only hear what I want to
I don't listen hard
Don't pay attention to the distance that you're runnin'
To anyone, anywhere,
I Don't understand if you really careI'm only hearing negative
No, no, no (bad)
So I,
I turn the radio on,
I turn the radio up
And this woman was singin' my song
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover while we're waiting for the other who was
Dyin' since the day they were born, well
Well, this is not that, think that I'm throwin'
But I'm thrown
And I thought I'd live forever
But now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
That won't take me anyhow, or anywhere
With you
You said that I was naive,
and (naive...)I thought that I was strong,
ohI thought, 'hey, I can leave, I can leave', oh (leave...)
But now I know that I was wrong,
'cause I missed youYeah...
I miss youYou said, "You caught me 'cause you want me"
And one day you let me go
You try to keep away a keeper
Or keep me 'cause you know you're just so
Scared to lose
And you say, "stay"
You say, I only hear what I want to
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Getting Ready!!!
JULY 1st
I am so ready to get out!!! 2 more days of work- followed by 4th of july at the bay- followed by packing and finalizing last details... like figuring out what im going to accomplish while traveling. While im giving myself my 25th birthday present- time just for me.
Ive been distracting myself while in houston- multiple jobs, spinnin boys, druken nights, early mornings, running and bike riding- NO SLEEP EVER. But there are great people in htown and ill always love my ability to keep myself occupied there between travels. Not to mention getting to spend some time with the family- or at least way more than how much i was seeing them before.
Thanks to - Caroline, Anna and Louise- i could not have done it without you. All my peeps at whole earth and grappinos- HOLY CRAP i love yall so much. Ive LOVED working with all the hippies at whole earth- such a fantastic work environment. Its like EMPIRE RECORDS meets REI. Someone is going to shoot me for saying that- but whatever its my point of view.
Fav0rite quote from grappinos- "When ARENT we talking about sex?"- Joshie
Between the two jobs- where i spent ALL of my time- i feel like i have a WHOLE NEW FAMILY. Im going to miss yall!!
EVA- you are my inspiration for this entire trip!!! How cool is that?
Anyway- im SUPER excited and i dont want to write too much before i go- but IM READY!.
Favorite Song: "Acapulco 78" by Fase
**by the way i will be letting yall know my favorite songs as they hit me.
PS IM BLOGGING! Im such a nerd.
I am so ready to get out!!! 2 more days of work- followed by 4th of july at the bay- followed by packing and finalizing last details... like figuring out what im going to accomplish while traveling. While im giving myself my 25th birthday present- time just for me.
Ive been distracting myself while in houston- multiple jobs, spinnin boys, druken nights, early mornings, running and bike riding- NO SLEEP EVER. But there are great people in htown and ill always love my ability to keep myself occupied there between travels. Not to mention getting to spend some time with the family- or at least way more than how much i was seeing them before.
Thanks to - Caroline, Anna and Louise- i could not have done it without you. All my peeps at whole earth and grappinos- HOLY CRAP i love yall so much. Ive LOVED working with all the hippies at whole earth- such a fantastic work environment. Its like EMPIRE RECORDS meets REI. Someone is going to shoot me for saying that- but whatever its my point of view.
Fav0rite quote from grappinos- "When ARENT we talking about sex?"- Joshie
Between the two jobs- where i spent ALL of my time- i feel like i have a WHOLE NEW FAMILY. Im going to miss yall!!
EVA- you are my inspiration for this entire trip!!! How cool is that?
Anyway- im SUPER excited and i dont want to write too much before i go- but IM READY!.
Favorite Song: "Acapulco 78" by Fase
**by the way i will be letting yall know my favorite songs as they hit me.
PS IM BLOGGING! Im such a nerd.
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